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The Viking Influence
Copyright Irv Graham

The story about the Vikings and how they came to rape and pillage is nothing but a pack of lies purra boot by them that should know better.
What they did come over for was to pay their respects to their hero.
Aah’ll tell you about it.
The good people of Mo-I-rana went about bragging how a great hero from ower the wattor had been sent by Odin to slay the great beast of the mountain whose heed they carried around on a long pole the word spread fast. Peoples from all over Norway and the surrounding countries would go to see the Greet Heed.
A sect sprang up who fashioned hats to look like the head and went around wearing them as a mark of respect to their hero. They called themselves Viakings meaning. ‘By way of,’ or ‘in the manner of Kings.
Well one day they clubbed together and bought seats on some longboats to visit Bobby Shaftoes hometown.
They came in there thousands, as you know in any greet crowd you will always find a few troublemakers. A couple of hundred got themselves lost and were wandering around the countryside when they heard the ringing of bells, they rushed towards the sound, which was coming from a monastery they were yelling and screaming with delight at having found a place to stay for the night.
Well when the monks saw them coming with these greet heed hats they mistook them for demons and legged it out the back door, when the Viakings reached the monastery and found nobody in just tables laden with food and a cellar filled with Toon Ale they just went and had themselves a party.
When the chief abbot heard that his monks had scarpered in fright he was hopping mad so he spread the rumour that the Viakings were raping and pillaging just to cover up for his jittery monks.
And that’s how the Vikings got a bad name. Hoky dokey.