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St. James’ Park
Copyright Irv Graham

St. James’s Park now there’s a name to stir the blood. Ask any Geordie football fan and all he’ll say is ‘hallowed turf lad, hallowed turf. But nod yer heed if ye knaa how it got its name. I thought so, well haad yer gob and I’ll tell you.
Years ago according to the aad gadgies when battle was the order of the day Young James Nightingale refused to bear arms, but instead would roam the arenas tending the wounded. His only protection was the flag he carried. A white banner with of course the George cross-emblazoned upon it. Young James selflessly saved hundreds of lives of both his own men and that of the enemy. He was known and respected by all.
One day he was walking through a field when a rustler thinking he was a gamekeeper killed him with a single stone from a slingshot. All hell broke loose. The rustler hopped it into the Highlands, but the Maxwell’s found him and cut him to pieces. They sent parts of his body to all the different Clans so he could never rest in peace. James was given a state funeral and the land was turned into a park for the people, but so many came they had to wall the park off, and build seats to hold the tens of thousands that would pilgrimage there. Years later the pope canonised him and made him a saint. There’s mention of a cousin Florence who had the same calling. Anyway when football was invented doing away with the need for battle the people’s wishes were honoured, and St. James’s Park became their new football arena, and there you have the hokey.